All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir

Part 3 of All You Can Ever Know focuses on Nicole’s early experiences as a parent and her blossoming relationship with Cindy. Despite her fears, Nicole gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Abigail after 24 hours of labor. As she watched her daughter sleep in her incubator, Nicole wondered if her mother had been given the chance to hold her before giving her away, and if her father had even seen her. Nicole and Cindy grew closer after Abigail’s birth. Cindy sent gifts to her niece and the sisters exchanged many emails. Visitors commented on how much Abigail resembled Dan, but Nicole recognized herself in her daughter.

A week after bringing Abigail home, Nicole received a call from her birth mother. The first thing her mother did after identifying herself was apologize for abandoning her. Her mother claimed she did not want to put Nicole up for adoption, and that her husband had forced her to sign the papers. Her words were what Nicole had longed to hear her entire life, but she was unsure if she believed them. Nicole wanted to lash out at her birth mother for abusing Cindy. Instead, she remembered Jessica telling her that their mother had a hard life and told her she did not blame her.