Almost a Woman

Esmeralda remembers how often she moved with her mother—20 times in 21 years. Ruminating on how possessions lose their value when one must leave so many things behind, Esmeralda describes how things become “as temporary as the walls that held us for a few months” (1). Esmeralda describes a bigger family she travels around with—“three adults, eleven children” (1)—but focuses on her relationship with her mother, “Mami,” in her descriptions. Esmeralda’s family moves apartments for many reasons: “in search of heat, of fewer cockroaches, of more rooms, of quieter neighbors, of more privacy, of nearness to the subway or the relatives” (1). Eventually Mami, Esmeralda, and the others return to Macún, a Puerto Rican barrio “where everyone knew each other and each other’s business” (1).

When she turns 21, Esmeralda moves to Florida, leaving a letter addressed to her Mami because she isn’t brave enough to say goodbye in person. In Florida, Esmeralda continues her mother’s patterns of moving around restlessly. Many years later, Esmeralda returns to Macún. Standing in her childhood home, Esmeralda recalls events from her childhood but feels no connection to it: “It was no longer familiar, nor beautiful, nor did it give a clue of who I’d been there, or who I might become wherever I was going next” (2).