28 pages • 56 minutes read
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“You are more important than business.”
When Ursa worries that her medical issues will cause problems for Tadpole’s business, this is how he responds. The exchange sets up the conflation between business and love that mars the lives of the Corregidora women. Most of Ursa’s ancestors were treated as business assets and nothing more, so for Tadpole to make this distinction allows Ursa to feel protected in his presence.
“I couldn’t help feeling I was forcing something with Tadpole. What our talk was leading to. Something I needed but couldn’t give back. There’d be plenty I couldn’t give back now.”
Ursa and the female family members who came before her have been conditioned to see their sexuality as inherent to their value. Ursa anticipates that her inability to “give back” sexually to Tadpole will cause the downfall of their relationship.
“What my mama always told me is, Ursa, you got to make generations.”
In addition to feeling inadequate because she no longer has the capabilities usually associated with her assigned gender, Ursa feels a deep guilt over not being able to procreate. Her family sees it as necessary to their vindication, and she feels like she is betraying her family members.