Here I Am

Here I Am (2016), a novel by American author Jonathan Safran Foer, is a character study of a Jewish family in crisis and how their quickly fracturing relationships mirror larger problems that develop in the Middle East. Set against the backdrop of modern-day Washington, D.C., the story follows the disintegrating marriage of Jacob and Julia Bloch, their growing disconnect with one another and with their children, and the undeniable force that holds them all together, even as the world is quite literally falling apart.

The novel opens as elderly Isaac Bloch decides whether to kill himself or to give in to his family's pleas to move to a nursing home. He decides to move into the home and stay alive, at least long enough to attend the bar mitzvah of his eldest grandson, Sam.

At school, Sam waits in the hall as his parents, Jacob and Julia, meet with the rabbi to discuss what Sam's punishment should be. Earlier that day, a teacher caught him with a list of offensive, derogatory words—a list unmistakably written in Sam's own hand. He swears he didn't do it, and Jacob believes him; Julia wants to believe him but doesn't. They decide that he should apologize, and then his bar mitzvah will move forward as planned.



Jacob and Julia have two younger sons as well. Max is the sensitive middle child, and Benjy is the precocious baby of the family. The beloved family dog, Argus, is aging and incontinent.

Meanwhile, Sam has a rich fantasy life playing an online virtual reality game. This is something he'd much rather be doing than planning his bar mitzvah.

Jacob has a rich fantasy life as well. A longtime writer for a successful television show, he doesn't feel creatively fulfilled by his work. He takes medication to combat his baldness, but it has made him impotent. Still, he engages in fantasies with a mystery woman, exchanging sexual messages with her on a secret cellphone.



One day, Julia finds this cellphone hidden behind the toilet. Reading the explicit messages, she realizes with certainty that her marriage is over. Julia, an architect, engages in a mild flirtation with one of her clients, Mark, and it leads to a kiss during a Model UN trip she and Mark chaperone together. When Jacob finds out, he seethes with jealousy, even though he fully realizes that he has no sexual desire for Julia—or anyone, really—any longer.

The combination of the cellphone messages—which were strictly fantasy and never realized in an actual affair—and Julia's flirtation with Mark compel Jacob and Julia to make plans for their separation. There is little, if any, anger between the two of them; just a realization that, after sixteen years of marriage, they grew apart. They may know one another well, from habits to schedules to quirks to vices, but they lack emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy.

Then, Jacob's cousin Tamir comes from Israel for a visit. Jacob and his father, Irv—a rabidly Zionist blogger frequently in the headlines for his scandalous comments—pick Tamir up at the airport. When they get back to the Bloch house, Julia is waiting outside. She tells Jacob that Isaac is dead.



At virtually the same time, a massive earthquake nearly decimates Israel. News coverage of the catastrophe dominates the headlines, and politicians from around the world weigh in with words of sympathy and vows of support. Within weeks of the disaster, the Middle East erupts into chaos. The rest of the world accuses Israel of hoarding food and lifesaving supplies and of not helping Palestinians or neighboring countries. It is soon Israel versus the Middle East as the region descends into an all-out war.

Back at home, the Blochs bury Isaac. As Jacob reads the gravestones in that part of the Jewish cemetery, it dawns on him that Isaac is buried in the section of the cemetery reserved for suicides. After all Isaac had been through in his long life, he just couldn't make it to his grandson's bar mitzvah.

Sam has his bar mitzvah, but, out of respect for Isaac and the situation in Israel, the celebration is considerably scaled back. Jacob and Julia instead hold a small gathering for him at the family home. Sam gives a speech, in which he confesses that he wrote the list with the offensive words, but only as a way to test himself, to see if he was truly repressed, as his friend Billie alleged.



Meanwhile, the repression of intimacy between Jacob and Julia continues. Therefore, when Israel invites any Jewish man of fighting age to join its cause in the Middle East, Jacob sees it as a chance to prove that he has purpose, that he isn't impotent, and that he isn't repressed. He and Tamir—who is anxious to return home—sign up to go. Only Tamir follows through; Jacob stays in D.C. He and Julia move into separate homes and eventually divorce. Despite her assertion that she will never remarry, she eventually does, while Jacob remains single. The war ends, and Israel rebuilds.

In the book's last scene, Jacob decides to say goodbye to Argus. He takes him to the vet to have him euthanized. He comforts Argus in those final moments, assuring the dog that he is loved and wanted and that he mattered here on Earth. As Jacob says these words out loud, he is saying them to himself as well.