Rising Strong

Rising Strong is a personal development book by Dr. Brené Brown. First published in 2015, the book examines what happens when we fail, and how setbacks are inevitable when we push ourselves. Well-received by critics and self-help readers upon publication, the book has been praised for its empowering approach towards life’s disappointments. Dr. Brown, a bestselling, award-winning author of multiple self-help books, is known for writing about empathy, vulnerability, and courage. The first researcher to have a filmed talk on Netflix, her TED talks are some of the most popular talks on the platform.

At the heart of Rising Strong is the idea that we can always recover from failure. We shouldn’t ever let past mistakes prevent us from trying again. We should learn from these mistakes to improve our chances of succeeding next time around. Even if we fail again, success is always possible if we are willing to get up and try one more time.

According to Brown, failure teaches us who we are. We learn more from setbacks and from being uncomfortable than we do from success. Rising again, after failure, shows us of what we are capable. Brown encourages us to seize control of our own lives, never allowing anyone to tell us that we can’t do something. Rising Strong is about being an active participant in our successes and failures. Essentially, we must take responsibility for how things turn out.



There are three key lessons in Rising Strong. These lessons are: our emotions can’t control us; we can’t succeed until we stop sabotaging our own efforts; success comes down to attitude. Without determination and grit, we will never succeed no matter how badly we want something. Brown teaches us how to recover from setbacks faster than ever before.

Beginning with the first lesson, Brown challenges us to think about the differences between so-called “winners” and “losers.” Some people pick themselves up easily no matter how bad the setback is, or how many times they fail. Other people fail once and give up. While not everyone is a born optimist, we can all control our emotions. We can dust ourselves off and get straight back in the game.

Brown suggests that we acknowledge our feelings. If we are disappointed, it is okay to recognize that emotion and feel it. What we should do then is ask ourselves why we feel that way. Once we know why we are feeling a certain emotion, we can take steps to control that feeling. For example, if we are disappointed, perhaps it is because we know we didn’t try hard enough, or because we know that there’s always someone smarter, or stronger, or faster than us. By at least acknowledging how we’re feeling, and why, we’re a step closer to changing our attitude, or doing something to change the outcome next time.



The next lesson centers on self-sabotage. Many people are guilty of jumping to unjustified conclusions that make them feel powerless. For example, if someone breaks up with us, we might assume that no one will love us, or that everyone breaks up with us eventually. This way of thinking traps us in a vicious cycle of failure. It also makes us feel defeated, and we end up feeling sorry for ourselves.

The main problem with this way of thinking, Brown says, is that it takes away our responsibility for our own happiness. If we assume that we are unlovable, we won’t try to find love or a stable relationship. We will stop trying and let opportunities pass us by. Although we can’t control what other people think of us, we can control what we think about ourselves. Put simply, we don’t have to feel trapped by negative thoughts and self-defeating talk.

The final lesson is about changing our attitude. Once we stop telling ourselves self-sabotaging lies, and once we accept how we feel about whatever challenge we’re facing, we can choose to think differently. We can choose to hold ourselves accountable for our own successes and failures. Most importantly, we can ask for help when we need it.



Many times, we can succeed with help or coaching. For example, perhaps we don’t yet have the tools, or the skillset, that we need to succeed at our chosen task. Chances are, there is someone who can help. Acknowledging that we need help means we’re taking responsibility for our own lives. We are learning from failure and choosing to grow from it. Even if we fail again, we are much closer to our goal.

The point of Rising Strong isn’t to punish us for feeling disappointed or defeated. The point is to show us that it is okay to feel these emotions because they are natural; we don’t have to feel that way forever. Success is always possible if we are willing to give ourselves another shot at what we want. Even if we do fail, we can choose to see it as a learning experience, or a temporary setback, as opposed to the end of everything.