Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion

“A used car salesman once seduced me out of fifteen grand. My family and I had just moved to Connecticut, and I needed cheap transportation. It had been a tough move; I was out of sorts. The man at the car lot had me pegged before I said a word. He pointed to a humble-looking Ford Taurus sedan, suggested a test drive, and as soon as I buckled in he said, ‘Want to see P.T. Barnum’s grave?’ Of course I did. The place was awesome. We had to stop for peacocks, and brilliant-green feral Peruvian parrots squawked in the branches of a huge fir tree. Opposite Barnum’s impressive monument stood General Tom Thumb’s marker with a life-sized status of the twenty-six-inch millionaire. Enthralled by our test drive, I did everything else the salesman suggested, and he suggested I buy the Ford. It was a lemon.”

This passage illustrates argument’s main prize: the consensus. Consensus is shared faith in a choice; emotional persuasion is vital to reaching consensus. The used car salesman knew showing off P.T. Barnum’s grave would change Jay Heinrichs’s mood. Ironically, Barnum was an American businessman, politician, and showman who promoted hoaxes via the Barnum & Bailey Circus in the late 1800s. The salesman employed emotional persuasion to convince Heinrichs to have faith in him. Since the salesman did not lead Heinrichs astray on their trip, the latter assumed the former would be truthful in his sale too. The purchase was consensual, but Heinrichs arrived at his decision through manipulation.

“Argument’s Rule Number One: Never debate the undebatable.”

Heinrichs calls attention to one of the most crucial aspects of an argument: tense. Most arguments take place in the wrong tense, which is why so many end in accusations and name-calling. One needs to use the appropriate tense depending on topic: blame questions deal with the past and require past tense (forensic rhetoric), value questions are in the present and require present tense (demonstrative rhetoric), and choice questions have to do with the future and require future tense (